We all fear it. Pain can hurt so much, a lot of us will do anything to suppress it. We’d do anything we can to not feel it, and our coping mechanism is to get intoxicated in that one other “thing”, be it food, alcohol, substances, another relationship, work, just to get our minds off that very thing that is bothering us. Sure, we do have our moments where it is okay to let loose, indulge and live a little. We are all entitled to that, but as this article is suggesting, there is alot more to it than that.
What I have personally found for the past 2 years or so; from the passing away of my beloved pet and soulmate, the letting go of people I love, situations and events, the crumbling down of structures which I have always thought will be permanent in my life, the death of egoic structure identifications which had you falsely believe in that which is not actually real,… Pain, is better dealt with when you truly allow yourself to feel it fully, rawly, entirely, when you allow it to just be inside you. Even when it can feel like it is ripping you apart from inside. Even when your heart is feeling strong sharp stabs of pain which hurt so bad, you’d just want to curl up on the hard cold floor and wish it was all over.
As bad as that sounds though, I found that once attention is being brought to that pain instead of avoiding it and running away from it, it will begin to cease to be.
Pain is almost like a child wanting to be noticed.
Once you take notice and acknowledges it though, it stops being so vicious. Yes, it can get worse initially but it is just the flame of your attention highlighting and illuminating what’s not working within you, what’s painful within you, and ultimately what needs to be acknowledged and released within you. What is not acknowledged, not owned to be yours, cannot be dealt with fully and let go off as how it was always meant to be.
You can’t let go of that which you don’t declare as yours.
Pain is a part and parcel of Life.
It is also one of the ways which we are meant to evolve and grow, if we let it. Sometimes it can be all too much. But if we understand how it all works, it’s only there to show us what’s there within us that we need to heal. Even if you prefer not to think something’s wrong with you, look at it in a way that says that something is not working for you and in your life.
Pain is a useful indicator.
Negative emotions are powerful signs that something is up, and you need to have a good look at what’s up inside of you. When ignored, it just gets bigger and bigger, and the one thing you are “addicted” to, be it food, alcohol, sex, work, substance to cope with it will only become less effective over time. You will know when you always feel painfully empty inside of you despite all the seeming “good” have in your life.
Once pain is really embraced fully, the saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” goes completely. However, quite frankly, they are only just words until you have really experienced it personally. That saying goes much deeper than the simplified meaning which has been given to it over time with repetitive usage by folks.
What breaks you, can make you stronger. But only if you deal with it the proper way.
When you allow yourself to feel it so fully, it almost feel like you’re dying in the process because it hurt so bad that words are too shallow to describe that feeling. When you have the strength to go into the flames, and allow the death of what you need to let go, the pain, the hurt, the anger and the fear.
That death could also be the ending of an expectation of something or someone, the ending of the resistance and inability to accept the ending of a situation or the passing away of a beloved, the ending of everything you ever thought was real. Within the ending however, that which is real will then begin to emerge.
It is only with the ending and ceasing away of what is not real that can then bring the truth to light.
Once that’s done though, you emerge from the other side, bigger, stronger. The cut, no matter how deep it was will begin to heal. The healing process has begun, if not already. The wound that was there before will begin to have the first signs of healing. You might feel bigger in love, stronger to hold the challenges that could come.
You might begin to feel more compassion for the people around you, and understand them for who they really are. You might begin to see through people and truly see them for who they are underneath the surface of the persona they decide to have for themselves.
You might also become more whole as a person where you are able to relate more to others, become more rounded as a human being, and ultimately become someone who is better and more deeply connected with the truth of Life.
At the end of it all, it will actually be all worth it. The journey will be worth it, and not only so, you will become more equipped to deal with what’s to come in a more genuine way – sometimes even without a bat of an eye, a shrug of a shoulder when it happens, indicating that you have clearly been through it all and done that, and all is actually, good.
Pain can be our teacher. If we let it.