The other day, I wrote a post on “Getting Over Depression”, but for some reason, did not share it out there. I am all for sharing my experiences, and letting people out there who might be going through the same thing know that they are not alone. However right now, truth is, I am feeling alot less than an inspirational and a self help preacher. Still, stay with me, because you might still gain something out of this post on Living Life. And look, this is just how it is. Life journey at it’s best. Even during the down times, there is beauty in it. So if you are really going through a similar situation, just know that you are not alone. I can bet at least someone within your circle, someone whom you know might very well be going through the same thing.
I found that in the midst of life throwing lemons at you, one of the best thing to do is to keep going, and my way of keeping going is to get involved in something that I really enjoy doing.
I’ll be frank, my situation is abit of a precarious one. I have a love for many things, yet at the same time, at the moment, my current truth is I do not wish to be tied down to anything, or rather, I am not sure if I’d want to be. After almost 2 years 5 months in, recovering from acute leukemia, I feel like I am like a baby chick just born into this world. Many choices, many decisions to make. It is a quest for myself to find out who I really am, what I want to do, what I really want to pursue, who I want to Be, and what I’d like to redefine myself to be.
Let’s face it.
I am no longer the same person I knew or thought myself to be.
It feels like a complete reborn, with past shackles slowly coming off me, and me redefining who I want to be. Life is a constant evolution, growth and expansion, and I am personally witnessing that for myself. While it can be extremely uncertain and the not knowing where I am going absolutely drive me nuts at times, I have to say that being an observer to my own life can be quite satisfying as well.
So here’s what I have been up to:
Engaging myself with what I love as much as possible
Breakfast/brunch lately has been a special affair given the scenes I would have set up before hand for a photoshoot. When you finally sit down after about 50 takes of shots, it’s one of those moments where despite all that is going on, you just feel really grateful to be alive. Plus, the weather has been quite kind recently over here.
I do so love the mornings, when the occasional whisper of the morning breeze gently touches my face from time to time, always seemingly trying to remind me to stay present in the current moment where all the magic is.
That’s also where I learnt that Spirit, or a Higher Power speaks to you through Nature.
If you are open to hear it.
So here’s a simple, short little something of what I have since been applying into my life:
Live every moment like as though I am walking a tightrope across Niagara Falls.
And no I am not saying to live in fear. What I really mean, is to be fully engaged with your senses, to be fully in the moment. When you are in such a risky situation, where a single wrong step can be fatal, that’s really the point when you will be fully, thoroughly, absorbed in the moment.
That’s the moment when you truly engage with Life.
Yet, you do not need such an intense situation to begin engaging with Life and its wonders.
In my experience, when I am fully absorbed in every action, fully present with all my 5 senses, that’s when I can truly see and feel the essence behind everything. Life becomes even more special. The trees look greener, the brown woody colour of my table looks even more enhanced. When I look out the window, I sense the magnificence of the towering buildings which I have been looking at for the past 5 years, which was once just ‘another’ ordinary building to me. Everything around me looks even more 3D. That’s also what happens when you see something or someone who takes your breath away. Even just for that one instant.
I found that when you look at something without any conscious or unconscious inner commentary or judgement, when you become aware or conscious enough of the running train of your thoughts, it is when you begin to truly look at something, like as though you have seen it for the first time. Like as though you are looking at something with a new, fresh pair of eyes. Try this on a person and see what happens. It can be interesting.
Of course, that is just my experience.
I always say to people, you cannot truly know something until you have tried it out for yourself. Until it becomes your experience. Until it becomes your truth.
So begin by getting out of your mind, and don’t run away with your usual thoughts and the feelings which comes with it. They will be there and you probably can’t stop them. But what you can do, is to just allow them to be. Look at your thoughts from the perspective of an observer in the background, but don’t judge them. It is what it is.
With enough practice, you might realize that you are thinking a thought, but that you can also disengage from it. When you do that, you will find that you can allow your thoughts, feelings to arise and be as they are, without letting them run your life, and taking you over. Also, often times, our thoughts, conscious and unconscious judgments mask up the true experience which you are meant to be experiencing in any given moment.
And in every present moment, there is much magic and power awaiting for you to realize it, and to know that to be so.